new year poems
my resolutions are to write more and eat less carbs. the latter isnāt for weight loss reasons, i just feel like such a student council president when i order a blueberry muffin at 9 AM.
poem i wrote after a man helped me carry my new treadmill
up the stairs
i bought a pink walking pad
to make my legs look more like when you last touched them
smoother, softer, and far less traveled
new york made my calves rock hard
my desk job makes my inner thighs bumpy
at least my ass still matches my smile
wide, dimpled, and something you liked to squeeze
in the hopes you could watch it burst.
poem i wrote after pretending not to know
who the strokes are
iām riding around in passenger seats again
rifling through menās cd collections
so when i go down on them later
i can pretend weāre not strangers
ātell me about the first time you heard Bruce Springsteenā
āis your dad dead or alive?ā
thereās a quiet in my life now
i keep trying to tune out
by recreating our loudest nights
tying to convince myself iām as wild
as when we first met
remember the way i danced for you
in our porch light inferno
alive with the joy of not knowing
who either of us were
my skin looked so good
before i knew your middle name.
poem i wrote after ordering a vegan hoagie
and pissing everyone in the deli line off
iām eating the sort of food my ex used to cook
in a last stitch effort to make me smaller
or maybe just pure
i could never tell what he hated more
my cellulite or my wickedness
you loved both
but only in a pink dress
sort of like how i wonāt eat fiber
unless itās stuffed inside white bread
if we both did bad things
why is it only winter where i am?
the deli oil on my lace gloves
makes me feel like weāre having sex again.
poem i wrote after wondering if my therapist had me
on mute the whole time
i miss the kind of sex
that makes my shrink furrow her brow
and say a bunch of stuff about boundaries
that i already know
therapy is about company
not revelations
in our small room you grabbed me
like a peach with no bruises
press your thumb against my inner thigh
youāll see that now
iām soft with rot.
thanks for reading, happy new year everyone :)
-Rachel Elizzzzz